Waiting to see doc at KKH. 

It was awful to hear lil baby coughing away, worsening every day. As much as I could, I do my best to nurse her and take care of her over the last few days. 

But it was exasperating to be judged and to be bothered and pple say things as in I, as the mother, is trying to kill my own daughter by not bringing her to the doctor, not giving her enough milk blah blah blah. 

Why would I? I read up, google like mad, keep asking pple which PD is good, checking how to treat cough, finding YouTube on the sound of cough. And you all think I am not doing good enough?? I don't want to give my daughter medication because it is awful. I tasted Zyrtec which was prescribed to her, i sprayed the saline spray advised by doc on my nose to test the strength of the spray. I tasted the TCM med which my mum said its good for her. Med are awful, spray is scary. She is only less than 6 months and have to go through this. 

So I worked from home, squeezing every drop of breastmilk from myself, hoping to give her liquid gold. Because I don't have enough to last her the whole day, because work is going to reduce my supply, because I want the most fresh ebm I can give her. Because the antibodies in the milk will help her fight the virus. Not because I am very free or just want to stay at home.

In fact, I am very tired. My back hurts when I straighten, my throat feels queasy as if virus is coming. I don't hope anyone to see my efforts, but at least stop sounding like I am not doing what I should. I am trying very hard to perform my role as a mum and giving the best to my baby. 

Post edit: turned out I am right? Nothing to prescribe to baby. At least we get some confirmation from KKH doc, I feel better too. Luckily this doc, dr Ang explained really carefully to us, unlike the well raved dr Simon Ng who didn't really say much but only prescribed med.