Happy new year

CNY is my favourite festive period but this year, I don't like it at all.

I have a new identity and is no longer a Ms, but a Mrs. I belong to his new family. Not that I don't like this identity but I guess I am just someone who don't like changes, thus this change is really depressing to me. Especially when my grandma is not around this year, I really dislike this change of identity.

I can no longer spend the CNY evening with my own family. My usual routine is relax in the morning, eat reunion lunch, go home and clean up my room, change my bedsheet, watch the show with my parents and all done before 12am.

This year is different, I am hectic in the morning because I need to bath Nana (because she need to go out and see pple), then go and eat lunch with my own family, eat dinner with my new family. My last min spring cleaning don't work this year. I broken my own tradition of years - I didn't manage to clean up my room or change a new set of bedsheet.

I know I am lucky, i have a doting hubby who didn't assign housechores to me except to clean up a room WHICH I didn't do. But still, I am upset because I just wanna rot my life away with my own family during this festive period and I cannot do that anymore.

I respect his ah mah who passed away, so I definitely wanna go and pay my respect on CNY day 1. But I prefer to do it earlier so that I have more time for my own family. I respect his ah gong, so I wanna go and have dinner with him. He asked if we are so busy because we were late for our reunion dinner. I felt really guilty over it! The reason for us being late is that I prefer to spend time with my own family.

My hubby is really nice because he give me permission to stay with my own family. But I know I cannot. And when his relative told me to come over earlier on CNY Day 1 because I cannot go out and visit other pple (because of my grandma passing away), I know my life don't belong to my family anymore. If I am supposed to be free, and when I am free, I should spend more time with his family.

I guess I just not used to it.