Random

Some thoughts of mine in this late breezy night.

Just three days in the new year.

I have been real unhappy nowadays. One of it is work. I guess I still cannot get over the fact of taking up a new job with comparable workload without comparable pay. oh well, people kept telling me that there are other intangibles that I should considered, partly true because the people are nice so far, and clicked quite well. My mentor is awesome, we both love apple products. Hah. but then, I am a capricorn you see. It's affecting me quite seriously because I have awful outbreaks due to stress! Painful facial today.. boo...

Another thing is r/s. Perhaps sometimes we have different priorities and considerations. A little incident was last night, I hope to help because I can drive too. Knowing that you are so tired while I am not, I offered to drive. But you don't respond. firstly, I feel useless. Secondly, it gives me a feeling that you can't trust me. I am sad though, but I sleep, knowing I can't do anything for you other than stop bugging you. but you thought I am angry again and started apologizing and irritated (which I wasn't). haiz. the point is:
1) I hope one day you know that you can count on me too.
2) Sometimes I let go, but you never. I guess we need to train up on our mo qi.

I know I am long-winded. But I guess I can never resolve the silent conflicts between the two of them. I still wanna try, at least bring them away from each other. Hard for me to do that, I am still trying which kinda tired me out. but never mind, they will have peace for the upcoming two weeks! I am going to "ARMY"! Only "booking out" during weekends. But I have bday off. something to look forward to.

And that's another thing that worries me. I am not a CAMP person and glad that I don't need to go to the real army. I hate packing and I haven't pack. Don't know what to bring. argh.

Health is not looking good. Allergic rhinitis torturing my eyes and nose. while my lousy digestion problem is back for more. can't really digest well.

The fortune-telling uncle is here today. And he said I still look as depressed as he saw me last time. I thought I improved but no. He advised me to go out more often. date me people! I need to go beaches, and places more open.

Anyway, my new year resolution is just: let me untie all the knots in my heart.