Time fliessss

One more mth and my maternity leave ends! It's theoretically misleading as many people thinks that being on leave means you are free at home. It's bullshit because I am even busier at home than at work. I am very anxious being back to work. The priority now is to establish enough breastmilk supply for my lil baby. But sadly, I am operating a just-in-time inventory. My supply is just barely enough for her feed. I am crazily doing pumps every 2 hourly, 1.5 hourly or even hourly in desperate attempt to get supply up, not just for her feed but for her future demands and wastage. It's so crazy because you count hour starts from the time you start to pump, not ending time. Which means I hardly sit down and I have to pump again. But everytime I had to feed her formula milk, I feel very hurt. I guess this is like a personal goal achievement checked. Well, I am psych-ing myself, "any breastmilk is still better than none" instead of feeling "I must put her on total breastfeeding"! I am so obsessed with upp-ing my supply that I am losing time with my little baby. Luckily she sleeps with us at night. On the other hand, I don't want her to be too sticky with us so that she can have her social time with other people. Hah, all the dilemmas as a parent.