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Saturday, January 26, 2013

Narrow minded?

Well, yesterday had an online conversation with a friend. The conversation revolved around her friend who was willing to go Thailand and Cambodia to spend time with the less fortunate kid. She admired this kind of charitable people and wondered how many people are willing to do that. But I went on to talk about being more realistic. If the person didn't have a rich parents, with no worries of financials or commitments, can he/she do this? Well, the meaning of certain sentence gets distorted when we message instead of having a face to face conversation but she said something that etched in my mind: something that said that's why I am only in Singapore. She had been overseas and she seen alot.

Interestingly two of us pursue a different totally different kind of life. Mine is the typical Singaporean way - kindergarden, primary school, secondary school, JC, Uni, work, get married and have kids. And I had very little friends, don't travel much. She, on the other hand, pursue her dreams, stayed overseas and had probably lots of life experiences to share and of course exposed to different cultures and friends from various continents. We do envy each other at times, but we are still happy with our own destiny. Seeing from a third party perspective, her life is definitely more exciting than mine. But I love my life, it's what I choose, what is destined to be the way it is. Especially after my sister passed away, I realize it's not easy either to live a normal life like mine.

But it really doesn't mean that staying in SG and not travelling enough equates to I am narrow-minded. Obviously she don't mean to say I am narrow minded, she just wanna say that life is more about money which most Singaporeans including me worry about everyday and makes our own life stressful. Yes, life is not about money, it's just a matter of values and priorities. She sees being charitable is one of the values she looks out for in her prospective relationship, whereas for me, I am concerned with my somebody having the drive and passion to work hard for me to fulfill needs and wants. I am not money-minded, but I am trained to be realistic. I understood her fully but I wanted to point out to her that if the someone who is willing to travel to do charity works doesn't mean that he can take hardships in times of failure, he may also put doing charitable acts above your needs or even his own. Yes, they travel overseas and seen alot, and think that you don't have to earn alot to live a happy life, simplicity is good enough. But honestly, human is greedy, you could never earn enough to live the life you desire.

But ironically, this is what I wanna tell my husband. Don't get so stressful with work, or want to earn more to make our life more comfortable. I do have dreams, but you really don't have to fulfill all my dreams, just dream with me.

Anyway, I lost track of what I am trying to say. I guess I am just upset that she said that's why I am in Singapore when I thought she understand me well enough to know that though I don't read/travel alot, I can empathize with things that I have no experience in.

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