was reading Mr JK (my sis's tutor) reply to Mr Tan in the car. I had sent him an email to inform him the bad news. Mr JK was also upset on her departure. Then this song played in the car.
"...仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼我还看得见
陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你
牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔..."
It's quite apt and tears started to flow.
I guess it should be normal. If there is no feeling, it must be crazy.
Was sms-ing with a friend whose father departed two days after my sister. It's too similar! Her father was diagnosed with Metastatic Dermofibrosarcoma while my sis was Osteosarcoma. Sarcoma in nature, both very rare yet aggressive. Metasizing (i.e. spreading to other parts of the body) is rare but both of them had it. Both condition went downhill very rapidly during CNY.
I can almost literally see the times he had to rush to hospital due to low immunity or stay in the cancer center for chemo and feel the disappointment and despair every time the doc said it spread to another area.
We were both looking for miracle but we ain't so fortunate.
I miss her.
I miss her sitting behind me staring into my monitor, looking at my backview and what I am surfing.
I miss her talking nonsense with me, singing SHE songs with me despite I will po yin which she continue to sing well.
I miss her chatting with me at night when we were about to sleep and we will stop and doze off naturally.
I miss chatting with her on the phone even though I am heading home during the call.
I miss buying tidbits for her when I am outside scrimping and counting every cents I have.
I miss packing any tidbits into my bag or gg to the vending machine to buy her tidbits like a five year old kid to bring home for her.
I miss suggesting food for her when she got no appetite. Her face lit up with delights every time she found a cravings.
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