Past

Having a lil' trouble at home and the scene seems so familar yet distant.

Locking myself up physically and mentally in the room. Refused to talk to anyone. Making the actions loudly when picking up something beside someone. Hiding in the blanket and cry. Refusing to eat.

She is luckier, she can talk to her cat, have more entertainment, have a caring mother who keep worrying about her welfare. while yours truly (years ago) can only talk to myself, listen to radio and lament on my own fate until time resolve the knot in my heart.

She is perhaps unlucky in other sense. She suffers the fate of destiny and seeing someone she don't like. She is having some exams soon and being very stressful.

Perhaps the only one who can truly understand her is me and me alone.

Because I know it's as though someone stabs you with a knife whenever your own family members said things like "ki siao la her", "aiya don't care about her, she siao lah", "aiyo, up to you" or even you hear laughter outside your room. As if no one cares about your existence. No one is really bothered by your absence. No one ever tries to understand why you throw temper. No one cares.

That's why I do know that by doing all these, only yourself suffers the most. Because we are born alone to this world. Because no one needs another person to survive. It's all in the mind. If you will never say, no one will ever knows. Since no one knows, who cares?

I hope she resume her cheery chatty self soon. Have to squeeze in with my parents tonight because she needs all the room she wants. (this is perhaps the only time in my life). And yupz, like I said "Anything I have done is out of my respect for you".